One of the most quoted saying I heard in my childhood is that “the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Isn’t that so darn medieval? The message is that a woman can beguile a man by pleasing him through womanly ways like being an efficient housekeeper and a good cook. You know, based on feudal notions that certain activities are a woman’s domain. Worse, the same saying suggests that men are unable to appreciate things that do not affect their senses directly. If you’ve seen The Ugly Truth, you might remember the scene where Mike Chadway (Gerard Butler) first appears.
If Mike Chadway is correct that all men are really that simple and shallow, then, I will concede that the best way to a man’s heart is indeed through his stomach.
But Mike Chadway is not correct. He proved himself wrong by the end of the movie. And even if we weren’t talking about movies, we know that not all men are stupid apes who would make an indecent proposal to an electric post wrapped in a woman’s skirt. Take Speedy, for instance. My friend, Lisa, likes to go around telling people how Speedy fell for me after hearing me berate a security guard at my office because Speedy finds the image of a strong woman very sexy. And that’s a true story.
And I’ll tell you another true story. When Speedy and I were dating, I gave him a bag of cheese cookies that I baked. I later found out that he hated them. I found the bag of cookies in his room months later dark with mold. I asked him why he didn’t just throw them away if he hated them so much. Because, he said, I gave them to him and the giving made them special even if the cookies made him choke with disgust.
And here’s another true story. A girlfriend from the UP College of Law was such a bad cook that, after she got engaged, she asked her fiance if they would need to hire a live-in cook. And he said there was no need he didn’t mind living on canned goods. Last I heard, they have three kids and the marriage is going great. And my girlfriend still can’t cook.
Now, you may be wondering. Why would someone like me write in such a vein? Surely, I can’t be saying that cooking is an overrated skill. Right, I’m not saying that. But for anyone who aspires to become a good cook, having the right motivation can be an important factor. Perhaps, you want to eat healthier and you are convinced that by learning how to cook, you can control the amount of fat and salt and sugar that you ingest. Perhaps, you are a creative person and cooking is an expression and outlet for creativity. Perhaps, you’re sick and tired of the overpriced restaurant food that you encounter every day and you know that you can replicate them, at half the cost, by cooking the same dishes at home.
But if you say you want to be a good cook to get some man or to make sure that your boyfriend or your husband does not leave you for another woman who cooks well, there’s something off. First of all, a man who will propose marriage because of your cooking sees the food and not you, and he will make you a cook and maid throughout your married life. And a man who will only stick with you for as long as you serve him good food is a pig. Get a dog instead dogs show more loyalty.